validation is a powerful drug. an addiction unparalleled. greedy hearts yearn for self-exploration. immersed in their  intellectual masturbation. confrontation. why am i so angry? i am at a loss. i live merely to repeat the same failures. and yet i stand reaffirmed. this moment will lead to triumph or tragedy. as our lives become solitary myths.

she is naked. blindfolded. her hands tied and extended above her head. in an empty motel room, she waits. wet with anticipation. the porn channel lights the room. every foot fall past the door quickens her pulse. an hour passes until she hears the key tumble the lock. they enter the room. drunk. dangerous. on cue. they crash towards her. muttering drunken obscenities and high fives, they grope her. they taunt her. they threaten her. slap her ass. slap her face. crude anonymous men. sticking their fingers in her. she is frightened. she tenses up as the suspense builds. it’s going down. they remove their clothing. time to fuck. they argue over first dibs. as the lucky winner slams into her, the others cheer on. each takes his turn. each takes his liberty. they double team her from both ends. abuse her. cum in her. cum on her. it’s rough, unforgiving fucking. her pleasure not of their concern. after their departure, her boyfriend unties her. removes her blindfold. she quickly drops to her knees and sucks him off in appreciation. he arranged this callous encounter per her request. found these men to indulge her fantasy. and yet at the same time he protected her. she feels used. she feels beneath contempt. she feel regret. remorse. she feels exactly what she wanted to feel.